I usually sleep wearing my loose Pyjamas and shirt but tonight I have a secret to hide, I wore two more pants on my pyjama but somehow it leaked through; no clue of how to hide this from my mother. I was feeling so uncomfortable. The pain is unbearable I have cramps in my stomach. I lay on my stomach and I can’t stop crying. The first thought pops in my mind is that I am going to die. I am too young for this I am a kid myself. Why did I play with him? The thoughts in my head were terrifying me and I dozed off.
Next morning I woke up earlier than usual and hoped that it was just a nightmare. I shifted my duvet and checked, uh it was all red I cried and cried. My mum will throw me out of the house. I got out of the bed; It was a sunday, so I had no school to attend. I went to the bathroom and my panties, pyjamas and other two pants I wore were soaking in blood I kept them aside and walked in the shower. I am just nine years old how could I be dying; he said nothing would happen. As water splashed on my body, my nerves relaxed but I didn’t know how to correct the wrong, I committed a sin.
Two days back, after school I came back home, and I was alone as usual. Arwyn, my first cousin came to study with me he is two years elder to me. We were good friends and shared everything with each other. “Let’s play a game Hailie.” he said. “Yeah, is it a board game or what?” I asked. “No, it is what elders play and Robb told me all about it, you’ll like it.” he said. “Yeah, tell me how to play.” I said. We both were on the bed and things got messy. I did not like it and resisted but he forced me first and then apologised. I told this to my best friend Emma, and she said, “Your tummy will swell now, you will have a baby, you are going to get pregnant.” I panicked.
I guess whatever Em said is happening either I am dying or I am pregnant. The hot water from the shower turned cold, and I stood there feeling nothing but fear. “Halie, breakfast is ready!” Oh shit! I have to cover my bed before she sees the blood. As I rushed out she was already near the bed looked at me and smiled. “Oh, my little girl is a woman now.” She seemed to be happy about it and explained me about my periods and pregnancy. It relieved me to know that I am not dying and I shall not have to wear three layers of pants but a tampon was good enough.
Since Arwin and I have been good friends since childhood, I told him all about it and he was scared at first just as me and I don’t remember we ever played the adult game with each other ever again.
Sex education at an early age is very important.